Monday, June 30, 2008

"It's not easy...being....greeeeeeeeeen...."

And now some (in her opinion) "sick and twisted thoughts" from our sister....

Could Soylent Green Become Reality?

It is the year 2008. I have recently been watching TV commercials and the news very closely. Up until now, I’ve never heard about soy anything except in vegetarian burgers. Now, I see it all the time ... soy milk ... soy protein bars ... soy margarine ... soy, soy, soy. Oh, soy is so good for you, soy will help with hot flashes, soy will make you healthy. Where was all this talk when we were children? When even our parents were children? I’ve heard it mentioned as a natural food for cows and livestock ... but for people? Nope.

Fast forward to the year 2022 in the greatest film ever made starring Charlton Heston. You know the one. The world’s population is out of control ... people are sleeping in the hallways of tenements with the owner sitting at the top of the landing with a rifle to keep his paying tenants safe in their apartments. To even afford this slight luxury ... or to live in an apartment with “furniture” (live in fun girls) you had to make the big money with a capital M. To make this money you were either part of a corporation or a hired thug. The prestige of this big M gave you the wherewithal to purchase meat, fruit, vegetables and preserves. Mmmm ... yummy!

If you’re one of the little people, you’re living off red, yellow and green wafers supplied by an enigmatic, omnipotent corporation. The name of the wafers were Soylent Red, Yellow and Green. What were they? With the worldwide food shortages we can only assume the following:

Soylent Red might have been made with tomatoes? Sounds logical. You’re trying to feed a multitude of people for as little as possible and who doesn’t like a good tomato? Unless, like now, you’re tomatoes are on the list for salmonella.

Soylent Yellow ... this one is so easy folks. Corn, of course. It might not digest well, just like the real thing, but it has bulk and is filling. Easy to make ... maybe still that little corny aftertaste. Hmmm.

Then there’s Soylent Green. And remember Tuesday is Soylent Green day! What’s that you say? Where could they possibly get anything green? In the movie they give you an idea that Soylent Green is made from plankton from the Ocean and that there’s plenty to go around. Mayor Rick Meehan of Ocean City, MD is now running a commercial that the Ocean will dry up in about a billion years and to book your vacation soon before it happens. Is this a man of vision, or what?

But I digress ... never mind that you find out there are government sanctioned euthanasia stations all over the place. You can spend your final days on this earth taking a drink of something that strangely looks like red kool-aid (sounds familiar doesn’t it?). Then you can listen to music and watch movies of how the world used to look ... and peacefully croak. Now flash back to the part where there’s a riot in the streets and those big trash trucks with shovels come in and break it up. Where do you think those people went? Did you think they hauled them off to jail ... or dropped them off someplace else and let them live out their lives in peace and harmony?

Did no one else see where this was heading? Look at the name of the movie again if you didn’t. Charlton Heston put it best when he screamed, “Soylent Green is people!”

So, my friends, there you have it. SOY! From the prophetic mind of a writer who might just have had a little look see into the future. (Channeling Mr. Rogers) Can you say, “Moo?” I knew that you could.

Carolyn E. Armstrong 6/13/08 copyright


sea mystery said...

I like the heading you put on this one. Toto-lly funny! Glad you enjoyed this one. I will also be posting it on my blog with all the pics. And who doesn't like Kermit, or the song. You are so great being able to pick the perfect song for a post. xxoo

No1sRed said...

Sometimes it's really hard...but as the title says...the song really does remember when! *G*

No1sRed said...

Just checking this out...AC taught me how to post my avatar on this thing. *L*